Money Stories - The Couples Edition

Written by Aqleema Anwar

“A Diva and a Worrywart got married and they lived… unhappily for a very long time.”

Before diving into this not-so-conventional love story, if you don’t know what a Diva or a Worrywart is, I suggest reading this blog. I promise the rest of this story will make a lot more sense. Now, back to our couple, who are a real couple but whose names have been changed to protect their identity.

Liz and James met and fell in love. They talked about all the things couples should talk about during the early stages of a relationship; everything except their personal relationships with money and any money blocks they might have. They didn’t think it was important and assumed it would all figure itself out when they got married and combined finances.

Fast forward to a few years later and they’re constantly arguing about spending (on Liz’s part) and not spending (on James’ part). Liz spent money without thinking and James, being the breadwinner, was very stingy- always wondering how they’d manage if he lost his job. How to spend money, especially on the kids, was always a root cause of their arguments.

The issue in this family dynamic isn’t that they have two different personality types - it’s that they didn’t address it from the very beginning. And this is a pattern I see regularly. Money talk is uncomfortable, it’s unsexy, especially the debt part of it. Most people can’t even come to terms with themselves about their money blocks so how are they supposed to be open and vulnerable about it with someone they are just getting to know and not be judged for it.

Was there any hope for Liz and James? Absolutely.

After determining each of their money personality types, they worked through their respective money blocks. They collectively created a budget that ensured the family’s financial priorities were met (which honoured James’ concerns) and Liz was still able to freely spend what was left.

Conversations surrounding your thoughts and feelings about money are just as important in a relationship as talking about having kids. Understanding the similarities and differences in your spending habits will help you develop a deeper connection and build a stronger foundation for your future together.